Monday, December 28, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
宝宝很喜欢显摆。我常让她把这个那个给奶奶或爸爸看看,现在宝宝说"爸爸看看","奶奶看看"说得溜极了。今天宝宝第一次会用筷子夹面条吃了,每当她夹起长长的面条,我给她鼓掌叫好,她就偏过头去看爸爸,叫"爸爸看看"。画画,画得自己觉得得意了也说"爸爸看看"。拿了漂亮衣服,戴了漂亮帽子,就说"奶奶看看"。(没说"妈妈看看"是因为她做这些事的时候我都是在看着呢。)
今天一个小朋友的两岁生日。在一个 gym 里。宝宝一开始有些紧张放不开,大概因为有些器械和活动对她来说有点超前(如air track),而且人比较多,别的孩子也都比她大。不过后来渐渐好了,很高兴地爬台阶,抢球玩。宝宝抓到球,就抱过来给我,再去找,再拿回来给我。宝宝从来都对我特别好,吃饭的时候会把桌上掉的东西抓起来喂给我。宝宝也做了高难动作:伏在一个轮子上,转半圈,做前滚翻下来。滚翻下来时仰在垫子上,宝宝很有点迷茫,但大家一阵叫好鼓掌,宝宝就微笑了。
Friday, December 25, 2009
12/24,Thursday, Christmas eve. 宝宝晚上特别精神,不睡觉。本来是我哄她睡觉,后来变成她哄我睡觉,她拍我,还把pacifier(安抚奶嘴)给我。又让我哄小熊,哄鸭鸭,哄小雪人睡觉。这是宝宝两个特点,会照顾人,会指挥人。
宝宝喝水,还会给小熊和鸭鸭喂水。
今天,Christmas Day。吃完晚饭,宝宝叫着爸爸,把碗给爸爸,又把勺给爸爸,让爸爸洗(平时我喂宝宝吃完就会喊LG过来洗碗)。 爸爸把碗接过来,宝宝甜甜地笑着,说:"谢谢~"她爸爸就化了...
我教宝宝念诗歌。考虑宝宝学五言诗还学不好,先教她诗经。以下是妈妈教宝宝念诗的过程。
妈:关关
宝:关关
妈:雎鸠
宝:鸠鸠
妈:在河
宝:河河
妈:之洲
宝:粥粥
妈:窈窕
宝:条条
妈:淑女
宝:淑牛
妈:君子
宝:猪猪
妈:好逑
宝:好球!
Friday, December 18, 2009
我以前的想法也差不多。有人说不要想,顺其自然等等。其实对于一个爱想事情的人,这种说法没什么帮助。是否要生孩子养孩子这个问题的关键其实就是:做母亲的辛苦是具体的可以描述的,而乐趣是不可言说的。
我也是在不了解养孩子的乐趣的情况下生孩子的(也许每个人都是吧)。当初只是觉得,虽然苦虽然累,但如果一辈子没有孩子会很遗憾,所以决定要孩子。有了孩子才知道自己大大低估了养孩子的乐趣。(当然人和人不一样,有人有两个孩子了,还是觉得没娃的生活自在。)
所以说,生孩子这个决策,是在严重信息不对称的情况下作出的。没孩子的时候,不可能完全知道有孩子的生活是什么样,也不知道自己对那样的生活是什么样的态度。所以,虽然现在可以对未来做种种预期,but you never know。甚至可以说,你考虑了再多的问题,还是会遇到你没想的问题;而你想象了再多的甜蜜,还是会有更多的甜蜜给你巨大的惊喜。So, one just has to make a decision with the information you have, knowing that the information is very incomplete!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
我曾想象,我到家时宝宝是会欣喜若狂,还是会大哭一场来表达委屈?结果都不是。宝宝看见我就叫妈妈,有点惊讶的样子。我到家就抱着她,开始几分钟她有点眼泪汪汪的,后来渐渐开朗起来。宝宝看上去不如平时快乐。保姆说宝宝好象一下子精神放松了许多。
我出差前一天,12/13,宝宝自己用勺吃饭吃得可好了。
宝宝不但会说很多词,语调也模仿得惟妙惟肖。她淘气时我会拖着声音叫:"宝~宝~"以示责备。她就学:"宝~宝~"那语调简直太象,太有趣了。
出差前特意给宝宝买了新玩具,出差期间也买了礼物。怪不得那些没时间陪孩子的父母总给孩子买东西。物质就是人的时间和感情的imperfect substitutes-不太好的替代品。父母用物质代替陪伴孩子的时间。而没有父母在身边的时候,孩子对于外物就会格外在意,也许是下意识要通过对外物的控制来填补感情上的缺失。
一般大家都说老人带孩子会太宠孩子。我好象是例外,我是最宠宝宝的人。比如爷爷奶奶觉得孩子自己用手用勺吃饭,搞得太脏太乱,可我看到宝宝自己用手用勺特别高兴,就根本不忍心阻止。
今天晚上宝宝睡得比平时晚,但比前两天早。宝宝又夸我漂漂了,而且说"漂~漂~"的语调和我夸她时一模一样。
Thursday, December 10, 2009
宝宝会涂鸦了。今天在画板上画的一幅"画"象玫瑰花。可惜是随画随擦的画板,留不下来。
晚上给宝宝唱歌催眠,宝宝躺在我身边,我唱我小时的儿童歌曲"小鸭子"(以前也经常唱的),唱到"小鸭子向着我嘎嘎的叫,再见吧小鸭子..."宝宝突然哭起来,把我吓了一跳。确认没有任何physic reasons, 纯粹是因为听歌。说实话这句的歌词和音乐是有点伤感,可宝宝这么敏感,真是没想到啊!平时没觉得宝宝是个很敏感的孩子,很少哭; 什么事情不让她做,只要转移注意力就不叫了。高兴的是看来宝宝对音乐对情感很敏锐,但又格外担心:我下周一就出差四天,宝宝不知会怎么伤心呢!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Saturday, November 28, 2009
晚上哄宝宝睡觉,她摸着我的头发说,"发发,漂漂。"她当时自己头上戴着发夹。我说,把你的发夹给妈妈好不好?宝宝毫不犹豫地抓下发夹来给我戴。有女儿就是幸福啊!
宝宝那天对于air purifier 感兴趣,我于是打开开关。家里的这个air purifier有时会发出"咝咝"的声音,宝宝听见了,过来抱着我的腿,把小脸埋起来,说"怕怕。"
宝宝现在社交方面不知不觉间已经过了怕生的阶段了。昨天和前天我们带她去朋友家,她一点也不怕生。她会观察周围环境,然后找到玩具自娱自乐。只是她和别的小朋友玩,有时抢人家的玩具(都是比她大一岁多的孩子,)。我都是把她抢的玩具夺过来(或用别的玩具换),还给被抢的孩子。LG觉得应该针对她抢玩具进行教育。晚上我打电话,宝宝照例来抢电话,LG教育道:电话是妈妈的玩具,不能抢妈妈的玩具!
Monday, November 23, 2009
宝宝特别喜欢推她的童车。喜欢藏东西。她把一袋diapers从盒子里扯出来,藏在床底下。还时不时去查看一下。把东西放在大纸盒子里,然后推着到处走,时不时停下检查一下运送的"货物"。看她认认真真地忙来忙去,好玩极了。
不知不觉中她学会了很多东西。我们经常念的一个儿歌是"小蜜蜂,嗡嗡嗡,飞到西,飞到东..."现在我们一说"小蜜蜂",宝宝就会接着说:"嗡嗡嗡"。我唱"Ring around the rosies,..."宝宝就会接:Ashes, ashes。另外各种部位,鼻子,眼睛,耳朵,眉毛,头发,宝宝都会指而且都会说了。
宝宝现在重复三个字的词也差不多了。比如"长颈鹿"。还有比如我说"宝宝爱吃豆豆。"她就说"爱豆豆。"
我唱"高高的兴安岭一片大森林",宝宝唱"高高高..."。唱到"一呀一匹猎马一呀一杆枪",宝宝最高兴了,跟着唱"一呀一呀,一呀一"。
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Saturday, November 14, 2009
宝宝告状,及本月流水帐
补一下流水帐:
Halloween那个周末(10/31, 11/1), Halloween当天,白天去Museum of Science,晚上去了Halloween party,宝宝的装扮是小仙女。11/1,白天仍是Museum of Science。
上周末,11/7,Museum of Science。11/8,宝宝第一次去Museum of Fine Arts,去了印象派画廊,中国艺术画廊(一个展室有佛像等,另一个是家居专展),现代艺术画廊。宝宝"欣赏"了Monet, Renoir, Van Gogh, Ganguin, Piccaso, Matisse等名家的作品。
周四(11/12),带宝宝去去新开放的Public Library。这个新楼非常漂亮豪华,Children's Room有好大一块游戏场地,好多玩具,当然还有好多新书。
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
昨天她可以自己走五步。她其实早就可以走,只是比较胆小,或谨慎,总要抓着大人的一个手指头。
她还是特别爱说"不要不要"。连睡梦当中我把她从大床抱到小床,嘴里都嘟囔着"不要不要"。前天她吃完晚饭,爷爷要和她玩,"不要不要。"奶奶来和她玩,"不要不要。"我说"妈妈陪你玩好不好?""不要不要。""那妈妈走了啊。"宝宝发觉不大对劲。我又走回来,问"妈妈陪你玩好不好?"这回宝宝沉默是金。
宝宝特别爱美。新衣服新鞋看见了就不松手。穿上后只要对她说"去照镜镜",走得飞快。看见发夹就要往头上别,试了两下知道自己别不上,就让我给她戴,戴上了就美滋滋的。也不知是怎么学的。
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
宝宝会说的词已经太多了,都记不过来了。
她记忆力很好。我几天前穿的一件衣服有好几颗扣子,当时我抱着她,告诉她这是扣扣。今天我又穿这件衣服,一抱她,她就指着扣子说"扣扣"。
今天睡觉时,唱歌哄她好久她也不睡,还笑。于是我大声说:"睡觉!"她就也说"睡觉!"然后又咯咯咯地笑。如是重复若干次。她说的"睡觉"不是特别清楚,特别好玩,于是我也笑。
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
星期天(10/4),我们去摘苹果。宝宝现在也会说"果果"了,她发不出"u"的音,说的是"go go "(钩钩)。到了农场,宝宝看到满地的南瓜,特别高兴。后来到了果园,我们摘的苹果,她抱着不撒手。我们还带宝宝坐了hayride。
我和宝宝一起读书。我指着书里的图,比如青蛙,问她,"这是什么呀?"她如果拿不准,就会说的声音特别小,还有点不好意思的样子。
Saturday, September 26, 2009
关于孩子哭闹的理论
在孩子哭闹的时候,首先当然应该搞清楚原因。如果是饿了困了,当然都好办。有时是孩子的要求大人不能或不想满足,比如孩子要买一种玩具而大人不想给买,孩子不想去幼儿园或不想让妈妈去上班,等等。(其实归根结底,所谓孩子的要求"不合理",是不合大人的理,小孩没有话语权,就成了"不合理"了。孩子无非是爱玩,哪里知道什么玩具贵不能买,当然也不懂为什么妈妈必须要上班。)
还有时,好象孩子没什么原因的大哭大闹。大家对于这样的哭闹,好象都是主张不理,或者惩罚,说是要给宝宝立规矩,让宝宝知道这样的哭闹是不对的,不被鼓励的。我觉得,如果实在找不出宝宝哭闹的原因,那就是宝宝心情不好。我们成年人都有心情不好的时候,为什么宝宝不能有呢?我们心情不好的时候,会希望从亲人朋友那里得到安慰;如果亲人朋友对我们不理不睬甚至声色俱厉,我们是什么感受?说实话,我觉得在这样的时候惩罚宝宝,实在是很残忍。
简而言之,我的理论就是,在无法确认宝宝哭闹的原因的情况下,一概假定宝宝是心情不好。解决方法呢?和我们对待心情不好的成年朋友一样:转移注意力,说些做些其他的他/她喜欢的事情,玩玩具,做游戏,唱歌,等等。
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看到宝宝和其他人的互动,我由衷地发现,母亲对孩子的爱,是无可替代的。孩子普普通通的表现,在别人眼里平常得很,但做母亲的就觉得孩子特了不起。没有一个人会象母亲那样为孩子自豪,没有一个人会象母亲那样时时处处为孩子着想。
宝宝说"不要"说得可溜了,"不要不要不要","啊-不要"。爷爷刚到时,要抱她,她推着爷爷说"不要",那天其实是她刚会说"不要",就学以致用了。
一周多以前,有天晚上,宝宝的爸爸在给她念书,突然大叫我,我以为什么大事,赶紧跑过去。宝爸告诉我,"宝宝会说'蜗牛'。"我半信半疑。百般诱导下,宝宝终于又说了两次,我听了觉得更象"wo no"。
两周前(9/12)我们去Chestnut Hill Mall,在 Information台前给宝宝拿了个赠送的小南瓜。宝宝抱着南瓜的样子好可爱。宝宝很快就学会了"瓜瓜",但发音不准,发成"嘎嘎"。宝宝很会举一反三,看见西瓜也说"嘎嘎"。她喜欢吃西瓜,看见了拼命指着,叫着"嘎嘎",要我们喂她吃。
宝宝现在还不能自己走,要抓着大人的手才肯走。但这两天单手扶她她也可以走了。我就这样一只手领着她,她就跟在我身边走,好玩极了。爷爷发现,因为宝宝个子高,抓着她的手走路,腰不是特累。
爷爷来了以后,开始给宝宝做小馄饨小包子,宝宝吃得比之前多多了。前天夜里一觉睡了10个多小时。
今天白天和朋友们BBQ。共有三个小朋友,分别是去年七、八、九月生的,宝宝是中间的一个,另外两个都是男孩。有了宝宝真是幸福,大家都夸宝宝是小美女,所以每次聚会我都心情特别好。
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
宝宝现在认鸭鸭认得很准,看见鸭子玩具及书上的鸭子从来都没叫错过。不过她现在看见鞋子也叫"ya ya",而且重复性极好,不管是真的鞋还是书上的鞋。除了"鸭鸭"和"包包"以外,宝宝现在又在学着说"帽帽"。
Thursday, September 3, 2009
我也知道应该放松些,对自己和别人要求低一些,感觉就会好很多。但是,明白道理和实际做到之间还是有很大差距的。而且作为母亲,做到这一点尤其难。你会想,我可以降低对自己的要求,比如事业上不象以前那样求上进,可是如果我做母亲没做到最好,岂不是对不起孩子?这怎么可以?然后又想,我事业上差点,如果就是自己和老公,大不了少挣点,都无所谓,可是岂不又亏了孩子?所以思来想去,就是那种"给自己的孩子的一切都要是最好"的想法太害人。
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
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我想作为父母,最难的可能是和自己成年后的子女相处。父母需要明白自己已不能主宰孩子们的生活,已不是孩子们生活的重心,这大概是很难的。我每次读到别人特别是年轻女孩,在网上发贴说到和母亲的矛盾,-有时也不是矛盾,是母亲让自己为难,或者母亲无意中说的话对自己有很大的影响(比如影响心情,或影响做决定)-我的第一反应常常是,我将来一定不会这样,一定不会让宝宝因为我而为难,生气,难过。宝宝将来长大成人后,我会尊重她的意愿和决定,但是只要她需要,我会帮助她。但是,也许把她养大了我会改变我现在的想法而希望她听我的。当然我现在觉得这不可能,可谁知道呢?当然更有可能的,是我永远不觉得她长大了,而总是觉得她还是我的小宝宝,结果自然而然地替她做决定。(不过说实话,这也不太可能,到目前为止,宝宝坚决要做的事情,我从来都阻止不了。宝宝是个意志很强的人。)不管怎么说,将来宝宝长大了,我会努力不让她因为我为难生气难过。
Monday, August 31, 2009
宝宝模仿能力很强。她吃饭时我都给她一把勺,想着虽然她还不会但可以慢慢学,慢慢练。结果是,我喂她她不吃,她反而拿勺喂我(勺是倒拿的,自然也没有盛着食物)。我有时也用手喂她,她会吃一点,比勺喂接受得好些。她也会用手喂我,有时我真给吃了,有时我还没吃到宝宝就改变方向把吃的放自己嘴里了。
宝宝没喂过爸爸,但是特别爱拿东西给爸爸。玩具一样接一样地给爸爸,她爸爸两只手都拿不过来。
宝宝自从会说"鸭鸭"以来,经常会指着她的鸭子玩具说"鸭鸭",而且是几种不同的鸭子玩具她都认得出。宝宝又会说一个新词:包包。会指着妈妈的小包或双肩背包说"包包"。她还可以说一连串的音,以同一辅音开头,加不同的元音,如:da dai dei di die ... 一个新的音是:Dang。 她会发的音以B开头的最多(她最早就是先会说"爸"后会说"妈"),会说 Ba, bo, bu, bi, bei, bao, bou (发现中文里其实没这个音,相当于boat去了t), bai, beng。 会说"baby"。新的音还有Fei. 另外她爱说"A - qi" 还有"A - key(中文没这个字,拼音都拼不出,以英文代替)"。另外据阿姨说她和人打招呼会说"Hi!"
宝宝晚上睡觉之前,经常会有那么一阵特别爱笑,而且是大笑。今天晚上她在小床上,敲床栏杆,我就说"当当!"她就笑。又敲,我又说"丁丁!"她又嘎嘎地笑。"咚咚",又是笑。后来她不小心脑门碰了一下栏杆(不重),她也笑了。
宝宝从十个月开始爱用食指指东西,爱爬楼梯,还特别爱藏猫猫。我今天偶然发现,这些都是可以排除autism的重要特征。宝宝对这些活动简直是喜欢到了极致。不知道这是不是表明她特别social。
Monday, August 24, 2009
Friday, August 21, 2009
宝宝的第一个生日
按照中国的传统,我们先给她洗澡(通常睡前洗,今天例外),量身高体重。身高约79cm,超过95%, 体重21.2lb,50%。宝宝越长越修长了。然后换上新衣服。本来没想专为了生日给她买新衣服的,因为她的衣服我平时买的足够她穿。但想了想昨天还是去给她买了,买了件红色为主的bodysuit。
之后应该是拜祖先,告知宝宝一岁。我们打了越洋电话给宝宝的爷爷奶奶和姥爷,大家都祝宝宝生日快乐。爷爷奶奶还给宝宝发了email祝宝宝生日快乐。
然后就要准备抓周了。先生先在卧室陪宝宝玩,我在厅里给宝宝布置抓周的东西(不能给宝宝看见)。之前我们上网研究,网上有很多说法,最后我们是按照百度上"抓周乐"的说法准备的。有十二种物品,我们按照其精神做了很多替代和发挥,贯通古今,土洋结合。(说了归齐,就是想个主意和宝宝一起玩。)
我们的抓周清单如下(并不是一样一个,有的项目用的是一组物品):
一:王亥算(算盘,秤砣)—— 易商好商,商界巨子。 我们用的是一个计算器。
二:仓颉简(竹简书)——学识渊博,前途无量。我们用了一本诗经(当年从国内带来的)。
三:财满星(财神)——命中有财,一生富贵。我们用硬币若干,有美元(dollar),欧元,人民币。
四: 洪崖乐(双龙衔钟)——性格活泼,能歌善舞。洪崖是华夏音乐始祖,制做了各种乐器。家里没有任何乐器,我去中国城的工艺品店,主要为置办这样东西。最后买了一管竹笛(专为这次活动买的两样物品之一)。
五:官星印(龙印)——命中有官,官运亨通。我们用三枚印章,是我们的父母以前为我们刻的篆字图章。
六:食神盒(食盒)——口中有福,享尽美味。我们用景泰蓝筷子一双(忘了什么时候买的,算是家里的藏品吧)。
七:将军盔(古代头盔)——爱武尚武,易军易武。我们用了一把仿古青铜龙纹刀(工艺品,也是家里的藏品))。
八:串铃(过去行医的标志)——心地善良,医行天下。这个太难了,我们只好用了一个电子血压计,代表行医。
九:伊尹镬(古代的炊具)——守家爱家,一生幸福。为了东西大小不差太多,我们用了一把平时不用的炒菜铲。
十:鲁班斗(墨斗)——心灵手巧,长于设计。我们用钢卷尺(红色)。
十一:陀螺乐(陀螺) ——喜欢运动,体坛巨星。我们本来只打算用网球代替。我喜欢打网球,总说宝宝过几年就可以陪我打球了。不过在中国城的工艺品店买了竹笛之后,看见一种陀螺,转起来闪光的,很好玩,就买了。陀螺和网球放在一起代表体育运动。
十二:酒令筹筒 ——喜好交际,友遍天下。(解说:是古时用来装盛酒令银筹的专门器具,酒令则是筵宴上助兴取乐的饮酒游戏。行酒令可活跃气氛,联络感情,增进友谊。既能展示行酒令者的文采和才华,又能考验行酒令者的敏捷和机智。)这个也难,我在中国城工艺品店也没发现什么合适的替代品。按照其深层涵义,我们采用了卡拉ok话筒。话筒可用来唱歌,也可用来发表演说,既代表交际,也代表口才,应该算贴切吧。
以上所有东西按照要求都是宝宝从没玩过的。这个要求很合理,宝宝对玩过和没玩过的东西感兴趣程度太不一样了。这些东西按以上顺序在宝宝的字母垫上摆成半圆形,布置好了,抱宝宝出来, 把宝宝放在中间。宝宝爸爸负责录像。
宝宝先拿陀螺,又拿网球,又拿起铲子,之后发现另一边有更好玩的,爬过去拿起计算器玩了一会,又拿了一个硬币,也翻了几页诗经,笛子也拿起过。不过宝宝在拿到印章之后明显对印章更喜欢,可用爱不释手来形容,她把印章放在嘴里,感受石头和牙齿的摩擦。宝宝还用印章去敲打其他东西,比如计算器。我笑说这是政府在监管市场。这样玩了一会儿之后,宝宝抓着印章爬到垫子外面去了,然后坐在垫子边上继续啃印章。
至此宝宝的抓周活动应该算圆满结束了。我们完全没想到宝宝会抓住印章。看来宝宝是具有领导才能了。本来宝宝喜欢球,也喜欢所有电子产品,所以本来我觉得宝宝抓网球,计算器,和血压计的可能性大。宝宝也喜欢书,先生预测她会抓书。有趣的是有些东西宝宝完全没动(凡宝宝动了的东西我上面都提到了),比如宝宝看来是不会当医生了。
这时已经十点半了,赶紧喂宝宝早饭,米糊一碗。中午,我和先生吃长寿面,给宝宝吃蛋羹加一点长寿面。宝宝偏爱用手抓面条吃,成功率比以前大大提高,尽管有时吃了半天面条还在手上。
之后宝宝午睡。宝宝出生的时间是下午1点56分,这个时刻被她睡过去了。醒后,玩了一会儿,吃酸奶。然后我们一起出门,买生日蛋糕,也买了给宝宝庆祝生日的各种东西。我们之前主要筹划抓周活动了,西式庆生活动就现准备了。
吃了晚饭后,就是宝宝今天主要的娱乐活动:游泳。和往常一样,宝宝游得开心极了,出来还依依不舍,不肯坐车。只可惜我们给宝宝作为生日礼物的游泳圈没用上(泳池不允许)。
回到家,把"Happy 1st birthday"的条幅挂起来,挂起几个气球,生日蛋糕上点起"1"字蜡烛。给宝宝戴寿星帽,宝宝不合作,非要摘下来,只好依她。我们给她唱生日歌,吹蜡烛,然后一起吃蛋糕。蛋糕上的猕猴桃和草莓宝宝吃得很积极。
九点party结束,我们给宝宝洗澡,哄宝宝睡觉。宝宝累了,入睡比较快,不到十点就睡着了。
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
宝宝一岁随想
宝宝快一岁了,应该写个总结。但是这个任务太重大了,要是一定要写的话我估计就永远写不出来了。所以我还是把目标定得低一些,想到哪写到哪。
宝宝现在就是特别喜欢玩儿,也特别会玩儿,会发明创造游戏,藏猫猫,藏玩具,拔河,等等。特别喜欢藏猫猫。随便拿起一样什么东西,书啊,衣服啊,玩具啊,就把自己挡起来让我们叫着她的名字找她。宝宝喜欢看书。别的玩具容易玩烦了,但对书总是很有兴趣。当然也要时常给她新的书。她的"问题"也都在于贪玩。比如说吃,喂她饭比较费劲(除非她非常饿了),但如果让她玩点东西,就好喂一些。所以她并不是很不能吃的宝宝,只是吃和玩比起来,她更喜欢玩。比如说睡觉,哄她睡觉也费劲,她不想睡觉也是因为没玩够,不累得精疲力尽不会睡的。
宝宝很好奇,喜欢尝试新鲜事物。任何新玩具她都能一眼发现。今天早晨她很敏锐地发现我手腕上多了根头绳,还把玩了一下。虽说每次正式吃饭的时候她贪玩不好好吃,但如果你吃个零食,被她看见了,她一定会爬过来眼巴巴地看着你,那神情没人能忍心拒绝。她尝了一口之后,如果喜欢就会继续找你讨吃,如果不喜欢就玩别的去了。
宝宝很有主见。She is a strong-willed baby. 从出生开始,她不想做的事情,谁都强迫不了。她不想吃奶的时候,怎么喂都不行。她想睡觉的时候,如果给她喂奶或换尿布,她会哭得不依不饶。现在快一岁了,更是长本事了,不要的东西就一把推开,想要的东西就用手指着,直到达到目的。
宝宝的表情特别丰富。她出生后七天的照片就已经有相当丰富的表情了。有时她的表情显得比她的年龄"成熟"得多。比如有时我夸张地对她笑并叫她的名字,她会迁就似的对我笑笑,好象我们俩的角色颠倒了一样。她的两任阿姨都说,她和别的同龄宝宝比起来显得"懂事",和她说话她好象都明白似的。
宝宝在大的运动能力方面好象没什么突出表现,五个月会翻身,六个月会坐,八个多月会爬(先是倒爬,快九个月时会正爬),现在在学走路。宝宝的这些进步都是一点一滴、循序渐进的,不象有些宝宝某天突然就会站了,会走了。以站为例,宝宝现在能独立站几秒钟。她几个月前就可以扶着东西站,一开始她不完全站起来,觉得支持不住就一屁墩坐下来。会扶着东西站以后也是不行就坐下来,没摔倒过。扶着能站得很稳了以后,才开始偶尔松手独立站。宝宝的做事风格就是谨慎,不轻举妄动。
宝宝特别喜欢爬(我也特别喜欢看宝宝爬)。宝宝的体力很好。她喜欢爬台阶,近几次"大运动量锻炼",半小时之内她可以爬104级台阶(13*8),相当于从1楼到5楼。其实她还有兴趣继续爬,只是我们没让。
宝宝的手很灵巧。但有的宝宝一岁就可以自己用勺吃东西了,宝宝还做不到。主要是我怕乱,没怎么锻炼她。每次吃饭会给她一些可用手抓的食物,她吃得很好。如果没有可抓着玩的,她就会不耐烦。
宝宝有一样事情算是比较突出:她九个月就会用吸管喝水了。
宝宝现在会说:妈妈,爸爸,哎呀,咿呀,A Yi(接近"阿姨"), Da da, Ya ya, Na na, Ga ga, Wa wa, Mo, Mei, Wei, 等。有时会说一长串各种各样的音(不限于以上几个音)。宝宝高兴的时候爱喊"爸爸",也喊"Da Da","Ga Ga", "Wa wa"等, 不过困了饿了不高兴了就喊"妈妈",象树熊一样攀住妈妈不放。
宝宝对别的同龄小宝宝很好奇,见到了一样大的小宝宝会去抓人家。比她大一些的孩子往往特别喜欢她。在playground, 常常有小孩围过来看她,有的还忍不住去摸摸她。有一次一个小男孩一直跟着宝宝,还送给她薯条,我不客气地替宝宝接受了。宝宝怕生基本符合一般的规律。总的来说对女的有时不害怕,被抱也不一定哭。男的陌生人无一例外,只要一接近就会哭。宝宝有点胆小。我用blender她都会被吓哭。
宝宝性格开朗,不常哭,即使哭也很容易哄。
宝宝上了六次游泳课,获得证书一张。在游泳池和海里也都戏过水。经常去playground,开始喜欢荡秋千,现在喜欢玩水。去过科技博物馆(Museum of Sicence),儿童博物馆(Children's Museum),水族馆(New England Aquarium)。去过动物园(Franklin Park Zoo),坐过旋转木马。去过图书馆,参加过若干次幼儿唱歌活动。去过海边(Cape Cod, Plum Island, ),看到了大西洋。
宝宝到现在为止没发现对任何食物过敏。宝宝发过一次烧,原因不明确,应该是着凉了。此外没有生过病。
宝宝出生后的前四个月,由爸爸妈妈爷爷奶奶四个人精心照顾。爷爷奶奶回国后天天想念宝宝。现在宝宝周一到周五九点到四点半由保姆照顾,其他时间爸爸妈妈全天侯陪着-我和老公大概算是比较宠孩子,我们陪宝宝的时候总是保证至少一个人盯着宝宝。到现在为止,宝宝出生后唯一每天都有见到宝宝的人是她爸爸(宝宝三个多月的时候我出过几天差)。不过我在家的每一天,都哄着陪着宝宝睡觉。
总的来说,宝宝健康快乐。As a mother, I can't ask for anything more. I'm the happiest mom in the world.
有人说有两种父母,一种是希望孩子快长大,可以和孩子做朋友,另一种是希望孩子永远不长大,觉得长大了不如小宝宝那么好玩儿。我现在是两种心情都有。不过希望孩子长大的原因还多了一个:现在宝宝还太小,很多东西还没法enjoy, 从playground的设施,到theme parks, 还有各种文艺体育活动。我和老公都希望宝宝每天开开心心,一到周末就琢磨带她玩点什么,但在她这个年龄总觉得选择太少。看到有那么多有趣的事情宝宝还不能去做,就会希望宝宝快长大。我想老公总的来说也和我有同感。不过他有时抱着宝宝,就会感慨:等长大了就抱不了了。
八月流水帐
八月二日(Sunday)、三日(Monday),带宝宝去Cape Cod。这是宝宝第一次不在家过夜(除了出生时在医院呆的两夜)。二日上午,我们准备东西(其实前一天已开始准备),给宝宝喂过午饭后,中午12点出发。宝宝上车不久就睡着了。一个半小时后到达目的地,宝宝也醒了。check-in之后,喂宝宝snack, 然后带宝宝去室内游泳池,宝宝见了水高兴极了,玩得比她上游泳课时更开心。后来又带宝宝去海滩,又在海里戏水。傍晚回到房间,给宝宝准备晚饭,喂宝宝。之后我们一起开车出去准备吃快餐,结果宝宝在车上睡着了,我就去买了方便食品,回到住处。和老公轮流,一人吃饭一人看宝宝。夜里哄宝宝睡觉,花了较长时间,和平时不好哄时差不多,我已经很满意了。第二天早晨,给宝宝准备早餐,喂宝宝,再带她去室外游泳池。然后回来收拾东西,喂宝宝snack, check-out, 然后我们去室内游泳池。玩了一会儿,我们去吃午饭,同时喂宝宝。餐厅是露天的高台,看海可以看出很远。吃完饭宝宝该睡午觉,但宝宝怎么都不肯睡。只好开车出去让她在车上睡,我们顺道看看风景。宝宝醒了,我们又去海滩,仍是沙滩上玩沙子和海里戏水,直到尽兴而归。宝宝在回来的路上又睡了一觉。
快到家时宝宝就醒了。我们是把宝宝放在stroller上推宝宝进家门的。宝宝对回到家没有明显反应。老公去买sandwiches去了。等我把几个包简单放好,准备把宝宝从stroller上抱下来,宝宝开始抗拒,抓着stroller不放,我坚持抱她,她竟放声大哭,哭得特别伤心。她这么小,竟然明白是旅行结束了,竟然会为此这么伤心。这大概是宝宝人生第一次明白再快乐的旅程也会有结束的时候。我想宝宝需要过渡一下,于是又把宝宝放回stroller,推她出去,找到老公,一块儿在店里吃了快餐。
八月八日,上午照例是宝宝的游泳课。下午带宝宝去动物园,看到斑马,狮子,长颈鹿,袋鼠,等等,还坐了旋转木马(我特意给宝宝选了个木长颈鹿)。
八月十五日,上午是宝宝最后一次游泳课,得到证书一张,Certificate of Achievement。这是宝宝的第一张"成就"证书。下午先带宝宝买东西,然后带宝宝去playground,特意选的一个有喷水设施的。最近这几天特别热,是今年的第一次heat wave。这个playground离我们虽然不近,但一个好处是人少。宝宝还不会自己走,玩水都是我们抱着。
八月十六日,天气特别热。我们又带宝宝去beach。
因为宝宝特别喜欢水,现在宝宝的游泳课结束了,我就给她办了我们学校的gym的membership,作为我的dependent.。以后我也要找时间自己去gym认真锻炼啦!昨天,即十八日(Tuesday),我和老公一起带宝宝去gym游了泳。
Friday, July 31, 2009
宝宝的游戏
宝宝现在喜欢把玩具当车在地上推着走。
宝宝喜欢破坏。我搭的积木,她看见了一定会推倒。她把书全从书架上拿下来,把衣服全从抽屉里拽出来。她折腾完了,一扭小屁股爬走了,我把书和衣服放回去,她如果一回头看见了,必定返回来重新恢复她破坏后的状态。也许我和她的对于秩序的观念不同。
宝宝也喜欢藏猫猫。自己藏起来,比如躲在床栏杆、沙发、或童车后面,我一找到她她就嘎嘎地笑。
那天我给宝宝刷牙,她特别喜欢。我要把牙刷拿回来,她抓着不松手,于是我和她象拔河一样来回拉了几下,就让给她了。她觉得好玩,又主动把牙刷递过来,再和我玩拔河,反复玩。不管是她赢还是我赢,她都笑得好开心。
Monday, July 27, 2009
"一指禅", 爬楼梯滑梯, 放方块
宝宝的标志性动作是"一指禅",什么都喜欢指。她一个月前(6月22日的记录)就会伸出一个手指头指东西了。开始好像只是会这个动作。她指东西,我们就会告诉她东西的名称;如果是玩具,还会拿给她;如果是她可以吃的,会给她吃。于是她好象渐渐发现"一指禅"的威力,现在就用一个手指头把我们支使的团团转。喂饭时,喂她粥她指面包,喂她吃了面包她又指水杯要喝水;喝了水又指勺;给她拿来另一把勺,继续喂她,她边吃边玩。安静吃了几口,勺扔地上了,再喂,就使劲摇头,低头坚决指着勺,非得拣起来给她,她才继续吃。
"一指禅"指示最明确地就是指着门,要求出去玩,又指着车(stroller),知道出去是要推着的。把她放在车上,她能耐心地等几分钟,期待着出去玩。我要是刚出门发现忘了东西回来拿,她会大哭,以为不出去玩了。她爸爸不信,那天非要做实验,推她出去又折回来,结果宝宝凭白多哭了一次。
这个周末,周五傍晚带宝宝去了Boston Common, 周六上午游泳课,下午去朋友家play date, 周日白天去Aquarium, Greenway (Wharf District parks),傍晚去playground(她爸爸见她直要坐家里她小时坐的swing, 可怜她近三天没打秋千,坚决要带她去。)
周六下午在朋友家,宝宝看见楼梯,要爬。楼梯较陡,有十几级台阶,她爸爸预计她能爬但爬不到顶。结果宝宝好像不服气一样,当即一口气爬到头。一次不过瘾,又爬一次。宝宝还会小心谨慎地下一两级台阶。快离开时,宝宝意犹未尽, 还要爬,但已经体力不够,爬了几级就撑不住,滑了一下。回到playmat 上,宝宝爬着爬着也撑不住了。我们赶紧带她回家了。宝宝就是这样,不玩到精疲力尽,不会睡觉的。
周日宝宝在Wharf Park 的喷泉玩得很开心。那里孩子们特别多,都尖叫着在间歇的喷泉中间跑来跑去。傍晚在playground,宝宝竟然可以从滑梯下面爬到滑梯顶了。
周六晚上在家里,在我们的鼓励指导下,宝宝可以自己把红色方块通过相应的方孔放进盒子里了。放方块对手的控制能力要求还是很高的。宝宝的耐心和决心也很值得赞赏。每次成功,我和她爸爸都拍手叫好,宝宝也嘎嘎地笑,开心极了。
Monday, July 20, 2009
现在,看着自己的女儿,想着她和每个人一样,会长大,会经历人生的各个阶段,大概也会有她自己的孩子,最后也会变老。这一切,和每一个人都没什么不同。只不过因为我是她的母亲,她从出生到现在,她的每一天,我都觉得她的生命是最美的,而从现在到将来,我也会始终这么觉得。我不在乎她会取得什么成就。或者说,她不需要用什么成就来证明自己的价值。于是我想,事实上每个人都不需要用成就来定义自己,包括我自己。生命的过程本身就是有价值的,就是目的,而不是手段。只不过人很难意识到这一点。对我来说,只是因为宝宝在我眼里每时每刻都是完美的,我才明白这一点。
当然,人的特点就是不会停留在一点,永远在变化之中,永远在路上,永远有下一个目标。大概就因为这样,我们时常会把目标当作最重要的,而忘了过程才是最重要的。我现在才明白:给自己设立目标,其实是为了享受过程,而不是为了实现目标而经历一个过程。就好比两个人打球,可以为了更好玩儿决定打比赛;如果打球只是为了赢的一瞬间,就本末倒置了。
同类?
2. 先生曾经说,宝宝大概不觉得她和我们是同类。宝宝怎么想我是不知道,但我倒开始觉得babies和成年人确实不象同类。看着个个都可爱的babies,和各种面目的成年人,实在无法想象两类人是同一物种。特别是当遇到一些让人生气的人和事,让人更是无法想象他们也曾经是纯真可爱的babies。
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
游泳 海滩
宝宝的游泳班上有五六个"同学",多是爸爸妈妈一起来的。只有一个家长可以下水,另一个在池边,多是拍照。我们家是我在水里带着宝宝,先生拍照。老师教我们几种在水中握住宝宝的姿势,让我们练习。然后就是带着大家在水里唱歌,做动作。宝宝玩得很开心。后来我看先生拍的录像,几个小朋友当中就数宝宝最高兴,笑得最多。宝宝一向把各种新奇的活动当作是逗她玩。
带她去海滩,这是宝宝第一次看到大西洋(以前去海边确切说看的是湾)。水很凉,抱着宝宝让她的脚丫沾沾水。宝宝也很喜欢看海浪。在沙滩上,宝宝对海带也研究了半天。
Thursday, July 9, 2009
宝宝有一个好习惯,爱喝水。她用带吸管的杯子喝水。上周六(7/4)周末去朋友家BBQ,才知道会用吸管对十个月的宝宝来说也是个小成就。上个星期,有一次她喝完水,把杯子放下又爬着到处去游玩,过了一会儿大概觉得渴了,又爬回来抱起杯子喝。
宝宝平时喂饭费劲,我们给她煮的面条一次没好好吃过。在朋友家,朋友喂她女儿面条,宝宝竟也爬过去凑热闹要吃,朋友喂给她,她吃得还挺好,还知道把嘴边的面条用手指头送进嘴里。朋友朋友笑着对我夸她,一回头才发现宝宝意识虽好,但技术不过关,面条反而被她捅出来掉在地上。
宝宝很有"魅力"的。去朋友家的几个孩子当中只有一个男孩,五岁,其他几个是女孩,其中宝宝最小。我和男孩的妈妈聊天的时候,小男孩跑过来,和他妈妈耳语,他妈妈说,"不行。"后来男孩的妈妈告诉我,他是想抱我们宝宝。周日去游泳,我抱着宝宝在池边玩水,有两个八九岁样子的女孩围过来,也不说话,就看她,于是我和她们打招呼,她们就问宝宝叫什么名字。
说到宝宝游泳,我们去的是一个露天的专供孩子玩的"踩水池"(wading pool),还有各种喷泉。宝宝胆子还满大的,不怕水,我先抱着她,让她用脚撩水,她还直要往水里扎。又让她坐在水里拍水玩,象在家里的澡盆里一样。后来我也抱着她象游泳那样"游"了几下。
这次其实是练习。下周我就要带宝宝"正式"学游泳啦!是一个专门针对6-18个月的宝宝的游泳班。
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Thursday, July 2, 2009
Away We Go
Before going to the movie
I've constantly been thinking about the very same question - where to settle down. And in my mind - and on the Internet too, of course - I've travelled around the globe many times, but haven't yet got an answer. So maybe this movie can give me some tips about this.
Another appeal of the movie is that, according to the reviews, there are many bad parents in the movie. So I was hoping I could say "I'm not THAT bad a parent" after the movie and feel good about myself.
After seeing the movie
I did like the movie, though what I hoped for did not happen at all. First, the couple figured out where to call home at the end of the movie, but I haven't. Second, to my surprise, it turns out that seeing bad parenting practice does not make me feel any better about myself.
In a sense, the couple was looking more for "perfect parents" to emulate than for a perfect place to raise their daughter. But it turns out that the only perfect parents are Verona's, who are long dead. Suppose Verona and Burt will be such parents. It still means that only dead parents or parents-to-be are perfect. Is the film trying to tell us that there is no such a thing as perfect parents? It's very touching when Burt and Verona were exchanging promises, but I, for one, have broken many parenting promises I made (for example I promise to be strict with my kid but I haven't been, or according to my husband, I've been anything but strict).
Everyone will find out what kind of parent he/she is when he/she actually becomes one. To summarize how I feel as a mother (only 10 month, but feels much longer): I've always felt I'm not a good enough mom since the beginning, but what balances it out is that strange confidence about my child: no matter how bad a mother I am, I believe my child will turn out to be fine, because she is just too good to be messed up by me.
Another ironic thing is that even the "bad" parents in the movie are actually doing what they think is the best for their children. When we look at other families, we can easily see what is "wrong" and believe we can do better, but, are we really better?
Friday, June 26, 2009
宝宝虽然一直是在家里带的,但好像蛮social的。第一次见到差不多大的小宝宝,她就伸手去抓人家。前两天在图书馆,我和遇到的一个带孩子的妈妈说话,她又是出其不意地去抓那个小宝宝。昨天在playground她又故伎重演。
宝宝现在特别爱荡秋千。昨天想把她从秋千里抱出来时,她的手紧紧抓住秋千不放。今天她又是抓住秋千不放,我执意把她抱出来,她就哭了,就又让她玩了一会儿。
宝宝"小时候"(6个月以内),哭的原因只是饿,困,或尿了。现在就多了,比如说因为我没有pay attention,或因为我离开,还有就是因为没玩够,最后这一点我常常忘记,有几次都绝望了,不知她为什么哭,最后才想起来她还要继续玩。
宝宝特别爱听象声词。"哗""当""唰", 等等,还有各种动物的叫声。前天她坐在地上撕纸玩,我就配合她的动作说"哗",她笑得开心极了。我也和她对着撕,同时配音,她简直笑得不行。真是"撕纸作千金一笑"。
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
我简直无法想象我们小时候我们的父母有多累。过去没有冰箱,没有微波炉,甚至煤气都没有,每次做饭要生火,做饭也没有电饭锅。那时候也没有stroller, 也没有纸尿裤。
人不仅是由俭入奢易,而且对"奢"的习惯速度也快得惊人。不过是两三年前我们出行还是靠地图和从网上打印的directions,那时候想要是没有google maps 该多累,现在则完全依赖GPS,想到要研究地图都觉得累。
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
总的说来,宝宝对不是玩具的东西更感兴趣。给她拍照时,我们一不留神她就去抓相机,摄像机。她也喜欢遥控器,手机。一般来说把玩具从她手里拿走她都不会发脾气,唯一一次急了就是我把手机从她手里拿走。我们也很奇怪,这些东西颜色也不鲜艳,但她总是放下玩具去玩这些东西。甚至连书她都更喜欢大人的书,而不是适合她的书。不知是小孩都这样,还是她特殊。
Monday, June 8, 2009
昨天在Mall里,我先抱着宝宝上楼,她爸爸推着童车,坐电梯,后上来。隔着人群,远远看到她爸爸过来,我问宝宝:看谁过来了,宝宝说:"爸爸!"
今天早晨,保姆来了,我还没有走的时候,宝宝在地上爬,宝宝爬着爬着突然哭了。保姆立刻抱她,问她是不是磕哪了,又拍着地板说,打它!但宝宝摇头。当时我在她面前走过,但没和她说话,所以宝宝哭了。
这样的例子有好几个。有次晚上我实在累了,让老公哄她睡觉,老公让我把门关上,我当着宝宝关门出去,就听宝宝哇地一声嚎啕大哭起来。还有次宝宝夜里醒来,我把她又哄着了,就去洗手间,回来见她眼睛又睁开了,就转身想去拿水给她,宝宝立刻放声大哭。她自己醒了从来不哭不闹,但如果见了我而我不理,她就会大哭。大概是想:我是不是成了隐身宝宝,妈妈看不见我?我用哭来让妈妈听见吧!(我正确的程序应该是:见她醒了,就应该抱着她去取东西。)
Saturday, June 6, 2009
宝宝最新消息
昨天傍晚,宝宝坐在地上玩,我陪着她,她有时叫几声"妈妈"。这时老公回家,宝宝转过头,甜甜地叫了一声:"爸爸!"
今天早晨宝宝醒来,看见我,叫我:"妈妈!"
今天带宝宝去一个新的公园。这个公园的沙坑比别处的好些。这是宝宝第一次玩沙子。这之前我们没找到合适的地方,宝宝的爸爸的标准特别高。这个公园是我转了大半个城找到的。宝宝倒没有对沙子特别感兴趣。有一个沙漏,落下的沙子推动轮子转动,宝宝很喜欢,先是看我玩,后来自己又玩,用手去转轮子。
今天宝宝打秋千打得格外高兴。她从坐上秋千就很高兴,显然适应多了。我推她,每次回到我这里我就亲她一下,她就更开心了,又尖叫又笑。
Friday, June 5, 2009
New tricks
Now my daughter has started making more progress than I can keep up with (as I've become lazier also).
She can almost stand on her feet only, without having to hold onto something. She likes to practice standing in her crib. After standing for a little while (most of the time with her hands on the rails), she would sit down to take a quick break. Still, sometimes I think she needs some extra rest, so I would pick her up and make her "fly" over the rail, and she would laugh out loud.
We've had two babysitters, both commenting that she can focuse her attention more than other babies.
She emulates what we do. At night I use the remote control for her bedtime music. She picks up that remote, and in addition to trying to chew it, she also holds it the way I do (extending her arm) and presses the buttons.
宝宝怕痒,一胳肢她她就笑得不行。但其实她的怕痒有很大的心理因素。你要是从她背后悄没声地胳肢她,她根本没反应,但如果从正面做势要胳肢她,根本没碰到她她就笑得不行了。如果从她背后发出"吓唬"她的声音,同时胳肢她,她也会笑。
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Two sides of motherhood
One side is the responsibilities - thousands of things to do and worry about, feeding, diapering, nail clipping, story-telling, washing and sterilizing bottles (and the toys), choosing toys, picking outfits, washing clothes, replacing all kinds of supplies, child-proofing the house, deciding where to take the child to on weekends, adjusting to the changing feeding patterns, ... and above all, putting the child to sleep every night! In general, it's like taking on another job, though more exhausting than most other jobs, and you tend to be more worried that you may not have done an adequate job.
The other side is the sheer fact that you have brought this little individual into the world, who is going to develop into his/her own person. When I put my daughter to sleep at night, often times I also go to sleep with her, at about 8 -9 pm. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, and do housework, or catch up with some work, or simply relax by surfing the Internet. Every now and then, I would go to check on her. And there she is, in her crib, sleeping like an angel. You can't help being amazed that this little thing, 72 cm long and 19.6 lb in weight to be precise, has so much power on the lives of the people around her. You also can't help thinking about all the possibilities in front of her, some pretty certain - such as that she is going to be able to walk and talk, while others more uncertain - such as what profession she is going to enter and who are the people she is going to meet. During these quiet moments, I savor the meaning of motherhood - it is something so significant that it is almost surreal. And the sharp contrast between the philosophical side and the mundane side of motherhood leaves me even more in awe. Being a mother is so commonplace, and yet it has such profound effects on another person's life.
Sometimes the most common things are also the most myterious - for example, time, or motherhood.
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Playground, book, etc.
晚上我读书给她,哄她睡觉。这几天读的是"Pat the Bunny"。她原来对"Mommy's ring"(书页上的戒指有一个洞)一点儿感觉都没有,但昨天她在用手指试探。我把书页掀开一点,从另一面抓住宝宝的手指。宝宝高兴极了,格格地笑。(顺便说一句,宝宝现在不如原来那么容易被逗笑了。)
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Museum of Science
今天是宝宝第一次参观博物馆。我们带她去Museum of Science. 有很多展台是交互式的,可以坐在那里按按钮,宝宝非常喜欢。宝宝玩得比较久的地方是世界地图。
宝宝玩得很开心,回家以后也很乖。乖的表现就是肯自己玩,- 确切地说是爸爸看着她玩。她不太乖的时候就是缠着我,我一秒钟也不能离开她的视野,一看不见我就叫。
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
Trust
This raises some very intersting questions. Does a person simply trust people whom he grows up with, no matter what he looks like himself? How important is the person's own appearance/genes in generating trust? For example, for children who were adopted by partents from other cultures or races, who would they trust more: people that look like themselves or their parents? Common sense seems to tell us that one's own appearance is not superfluous. Otherwise, inter-racial, inter-cultural adoptions would not attract more attention than other adoptions. I once heard on NPR about this topic, and remembered an African-American girl adopted by white parents talking about the special challenges she faced growing up.
So the question itself: whether people trust others who look like themselves or their parents, may need to be revised. The very fact that one looks like his/her parents (or not) may play an important role in shaping a person, including his/her ability to trust others. Growing up, every person asks, and needs to answer, this question: "Who am I?" This is part of establishing one's identity. In this process, one inevitably notices whether he/she resembles his/her parents. If not, it will be more difficult for the kid to find his/her identity.
Another observation may also be illuminating. Many of my friends, who are also Chinese living in the US, told me that their kids often have friends from all races and backgrounds in kindergarten, but by the time they go to high school, their friends are much more likely from similar background (Asian Americans). This is probably because having friends with similar backgrounds is part of establishing one's identity; and these friends may in turn reinforce the identity.
After all, "know oneself" is the ultimate task for each one of us. And as one comes to know oneself, including one's appearance, one may start to reexamine one's relationships with others including parents, friends, and strangers.
审美观
Wednesday, May 13, 2009
宝宝的性格
宝宝总的说来性格很好,不会无缘无故哭闹。不过据说babies哭都是有原因的。她玩的玩具,给她拿走,她会换一个再玩。我有次抱她把她闪了一下,她觉得新奇好玩儿,格格格地笑。她可以自己玩,自娱自乐。这些性格基本上象她爸爸。她从一个月不到,夜里醒来就不哭,一个人在那玩,只有时间太久饿坏了才会哭。她夜里醒来后呼吸声和睡时不一样,我就是靠听呼吸声夜里醒来给她喂奶。每次我醒来看她在那睁着大眼睛都好心疼,不知道她醒了多久。因为她这样我反而睡得格外不踏实。
但是她不想做的事,谁也没办法,真要哭起来也是不依不饶。爷爷奶奶说她"不吃亏"。
宝宝做事很专注,她认真研究玩具的时候,小眉毛皱着,先生说象我。当然她更喜欢研究非玩具的物体,比如她的各种器械上的安全带(changing pad, high chair, swing, etc.),遥控器,等等。
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
progress
2. 这周一(5月11日), 宝宝会向前爬了。
最近格外忙。近一个月一直在写research statement; 一篇paper被接受了,当然是最大的好消息,但是final revision给的时间很短,必须立刻改好;又是学期末,学生交project,又考试,给学生答疑,准备考题(这次是别的老师出题,还好,但也要仔细读,提出修改意见),然后改project,改考卷。我总共有100个学生,工作量很大。
这还不够,我的保姆要回国呆一个月,所以我必须另找一个保姆。登广告,面试。今天(5月12日)新保姆第一天来。新保姆和宝宝玩儿得挺好。我一上午在家。中午先生回来,我去学校,因为有和同事的appointment。我两个小时就回来了。但宝宝总的说来还是有点紧张,白天总共只睡了1小时。保姆下班后,宝宝从5:45睡到8:45!晚上给宝宝的爷爷奶奶打电话,他们听说后笑说:终于确定不会被新保姆抱走了,放松下来就睡了个大觉。
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Development this past week
This past week saw many new developments.
1. Just as she is sad and would call out loudly when I leave the house, she is also extremely happy when I come back home from work - She laughs and screams, and wants to leap into my arms. I need to wash my hands before holding her, and she screams (in happiness) the whole time. This weekend, she would voice her objection even when I'm just out of her sight (with her father holding her), even for a second.
2. She has started to crawl forward a little bit. In fact, she often moves forward a little bit with one hand, and then move back two steps :) She sometimes also leaps forward a little bit, both knees jumping forward.
3. I put up some new child-proof cushion as she became more mobile. She immediately discovered the difference in texture between the rubber cusshion and the wood furniture.
4. The other day she saw her pictures on the camera screen and video clips of her on the camcorder. She was very happy and excited. (We have never let her see TV and very rarely exposed her to computer screens or screens of any electronics - to protect her eye sight, for the most part.)
5. She has invented many new ways to play with her toys. And like all babies, I guess, she has also invented ways to play with non-toys - a lot of times things she is not supposed to touch. She would drop a toy on a hard surface repeatedly just to hear the sound; bangs two toys; plays with her father's belt (bend it first and then release it).
My thoughts:
To see someone so happy at the sight of you is very touching.
New partents often express that they are surprised by their love for their child. I was not. I'm the mother, so I'm supposed to love my child more than I love myself, and to be willing to die for her - that's what mothers are supposed to feel, isn't it? So I'm not surprised by what I feel for her at all. For my whole life I had only worried that I might not love my child enough, that my love does not meet the high bar of "the love of a mother for her child". I was just relieved when I became a mother. Now I do believe that I love my daughter no less than any mother loves her children.
What does surprise me is how my daughter loves me. Maybe it is just that she depends on me. It doesn't matter how to label it. Another human being is so genuinely happy to see you. You mean the world to her, literally.
Nowadays I started to worry whether I would be able to carry out the responsibilities of a mother. I think I have provided for her basic needs. But I can certainly do better. A better house, more toys, etc. Of course, sensible people would say those material things are much less important than your love. True. But my daughter will certainly be happier if she has more play space at home. And she loves to explore new toys!
Monday, April 27, 2009
后来熟悉一点了,宝宝就有些活泛了,发出oh oh ya ya的声音,后来发展到用手去摸小baby。回来后她爸爸说她就是好奇,想摸一下这个小宝宝。(宝宝这是第一次近距离接触和自己差不多的baby。上次宝宝见到的是两三岁的孩子。)
今天早晨我离家的时候,宝宝不但跟我挥手再见,而且看到我关门离开大叫起来,象是要哭。我立刻折返回来,又亲亲她,然后保姆就把她抱走了,我出门后没有听见她再哭。
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Turning 8 months
宝宝对声音很敏感,也很明白人声和纯音乐的区别。每次我给她放音乐,音响一开她就会把头转向音箱的方向。但很快她就继续玩。但如果我放的是歌,有人声,她就会一直盯着声音的方向,一脸迷惑。有次我抱着她走到音箱那里,她就使劲往前探,又用手去抓,想看那后面是什么,好象想看看是不是有人。对她来说从一开始音乐就是从音响发出来的,所以她不奇怪, 但大概从听我唱歌知道歌声是人发出来的,所以听到歌声但不见人就特迷惑。
宝宝现在还是只会倒着爬。她在字母拼的垫子上爬的时候,每次爬到边上,虽说眼睛看不见,但她能感觉到脚已伸出垫子,接触到地板,于是自动转90度接着朝小屁股的方向爬!
宝宝总是把我们做的新动作当成是逗她玩。前几天有个晚上偏热,她又总是不停地翻身又爬来爬去,我就拿本小书给她扇风,结果她咯咯咯地笑起来。和她玩藏猫猫,把她脸蒙起来然后再移开,她也笑得不行。
Monday, April 20, 2009
Some thought: Not-so-optimal results of Optimization
Example 1: A politician is playing the political game optimally. But, if the public also believes that he is merely maximizing his political benefits, they won’t vote for him.
Example 2: A person playing the dating game to maximize his/her utility probably won’t get the best results, if the person he/she is dating realizes he/she is playing games.
So I guess the trick is how to optimize without letting people know you are optimizing. Suppose people are smart and they know it when you are playing games. Does it mean you should forget about optimization and simply be yourself all the time? Will this lead a better outcome? Which strategy is riskier? I would say, being oneself is a high-risk, high-return strategy, while playing games (making calculated decisions based on the reactions of others) is safer but probably won’t yield the best outcome.
Friday, April 17, 2009
She can stand now!
Today is the warmest day so far this year, so I decided to bike to work. I even got a nice surprise on my way to work: someone was giving out free water! And I took advantage of it!
At work, my husband called me, telling me about new layoffs at his company (not him, luckily). For those unlucky people, today probably seems more like winter than spring.
I left work early to make sure I can take my daughter out to enjoy this beautiful weather. On my bikeride home, I passed by the BU beach. Even the South Beach couldn't beat it today. (Everyone knows what BU is famous for, right?) But a treat to the eye was not the only nice thing happened to me; I had a discovery too! (Good things always come in pairs!) I had long been wondering: why people have to wear bikinis when it is barely 70 degrees? On a day like this, I had an epiphany: if this weather occurs in June, nobody would dress like this; but it is April now, it is not about being practical, it is about making a statement! It's warm now; let's get out and party!
Got home; my babysitter was happy to get off work early; tried to feed my baby before going out but she refused; dressed her, put the new sun hat on her - and in no time, we were out in the sunshine! As usual, she seemed to be intensely absorbing whatever she observed, and barely smiled. She smiles and laughs a lot at home; but when she is outside, she frowns, as if trying to figure something out.
At her bedtime, after we bathed her, she was sitting on one of my legs. I found that she could stand for a few seconds! So here is another milestone for her: she can stand before turning 8 months!
new development and some random thoughts
Last night my daughter went to sleep shortly after 9 pm and woke up at 7 am this morning! She usually goes to bed around 8 pm, but yesterday she took a nap 6:30 - 7 pm. No matter how short a nap is, she would stay awake for at least two hours (usually 3 to 4 hours). In her morning nap yesterday, she slept on her belly for the first time. And the whole night last night she slept "butt up". She is incredibly cute in that position!
I love it when my baby laughs. She laughs out loud. You can never know what you do may make her laugh. Make faces. Sing certain songs. Tickle her. Blow air into her neck. Lift her up high. Make funny sounds. Tap on the tray of her high-chair like beat a drum. And you have to try new things; she quickly gets used to old tricks.
Sometimes I browsed the Internet looking at celebrity moms with their children. The other day I saw Jessica Alba's pictures with her daughter, and noticed that her daughter was wearing shoes (sneakers) when she was about the same age as my daughter. It was also reported that Jessica Alba routinely took her daughter to parks on playdates. This made me feel bad. My daughter is not walking yet so I haven't bought her real shoes. But maybe I should? And maybe I should get some playdates for my daughter too. I feel like a terrible mother that I haven't done that at all.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
a few more things
She can also "fly" too - open her arms wide wanting someone else to hold her.
She can't crawl forward yet, but crawl in circles by half a circle and backwards a little bit (between half and one foot).
Probably like all babies, she likes to be bathed, and is also okay when taken out of the water, but starts to cry when being wrapped up in a towel. She stops crying when we are done clothing her again.
She loves to play with her feet, or more precisely with her socks. The moment we put a sock on her, she will pull the other one off. Sometimes we feel like Sisyphus, putting socks on her in eternity.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Adapting to changing needs
Saturday, March 21, 2009
A happy father
她不到四个月的时候,有一次她要pacifier,我说"叫妈妈就给你。"宝宝急得发出一长串的音节,最后说出的就是"妈"这个音。当时宝宝也发出过ba, na, 等音节。但后来有段时间"说话"比较少。六个月左右开始"说话"又多起来,ba, da, wa, yi, qi, mei, 等音常说。但象今天这样对着爸爸叫"爸爸"还是第一次。
Friday, March 20, 2009
First day of Spring and my daughter's first tooth
Today is March 20, 2009, the first day of spring, one day before my daughter turns 7 months. Last night I put my daughter to sleep around 8:15. When I went to bed at 0:30 (which technically is today), my daughter woke up. This does not happen that often (thank God) - about once a week. After trying to put her back to sleep again for 2 hours, it occurred to me that she might have made another breakthrough. And just like that, I discovered that she had cut her first tooth! I had to admit that I didn't check her mouth every day, when I did a couple of days ago and it was not there yet (though very close).
She finally went back to sleep again at 3:30 am. This morning, when my baby sitter came, she told me the same discovery she made yesterday, which she forgot to tell me yesterday. So I'm now comfortable to put her milestone of cutting first tooth at March 19, 2009.
First tooth, first day of spring, turning 7 months, - and so this becomes the beginning of my blog about my daughter and my life as her mother.