Development this past week

Updates on my daughter:

This past week saw many new developments.

1. Just as she is sad and would call out loudly when I leave the house, she is also extremely happy when I come back home from work - She laughs and screams, and wants to leap into my arms. I need to wash my hands before holding her, and she screams (in happiness) the whole time. This weekend, she would voice her objection even when I'm just out of her sight (with her father holding her), even for a second.

2. She has started to crawl forward a little bit. In fact, she often moves forward a little bit with one hand, and then move back two steps :) She sometimes also leaps forward a little bit, both knees jumping forward.

3. I put up some new child-proof cushion as she became more mobile. She immediately discovered the difference in texture between the rubber cusshion and the wood furniture.

4. The other day she saw her pictures on the camera screen and video clips of her on the camcorder. She was very happy and excited. (We have never let her see TV and very rarely exposed her to computer screens or screens of any electronics - to protect her eye sight, for the most part.)

5. She has invented many new ways to play with her toys. And like all babies, I guess, she has also invented ways to play with non-toys - a lot of times things she is not supposed to touch. She would drop a toy on a hard surface repeatedly just to hear the sound; bangs two toys; plays with her father's belt (bend it first and then release it).

My thoughts:

To see someone so happy at the sight of you is very touching.

New partents often express that they are surprised by their love for their child. I was not. I'm the mother, so I'm supposed to love my child more than I love myself, and to be willing to die for her - that's what mothers are supposed to feel, isn't it? So I'm not surprised by what I feel for her at all. For my whole life I had only worried that I might not love my child enough, that my love does not meet the high bar of "the love of a mother for her child". I was just relieved when I became a mother. Now I do believe that I love my daughter no less than any mother loves her children.

What does surprise me is how my daughter loves me. Maybe it is just that she depends on me. It doesn't matter how to label it. Another human being is so genuinely happy to see you. You mean the world to her, literally.

Nowadays I started to worry whether I would be able to carry out the responsibilities of a mother. I think I have provided for her basic needs. But I can certainly do better. A better house, more toys, etc. Of course, sensible people would say those material things are much less important than your love. True. But my daughter will certainly be happier if she has more play space at home. And she loves to explore new toys!