Away We Go

My husband and I went to the movie Away We Go yesterday. It is about a couple traveling to several cities including Phoenix, Tucson, Madison, Montreal, and Miami, in an attempt to find the best place to live and raise their soon-to-be-born daughter.

Before going to the movie
I've constantly been thinking about the very same question - where to settle down. And in my mind - and on the Internet too, of course - I've travelled around the globe many times, but haven't yet got an answer. So maybe this movie can give me some tips about this.

Another appeal of the movie is that, according to the reviews, there are many bad parents in the movie. So I was hoping I could say "I'm not THAT bad a parent" after the movie and feel good about myself.

After seeing the movie
I did like the movie, though what I hoped for did not happen at all. First, the couple figured out where to call home at the end of the movie, but I haven't. Second, to my surprise, it turns out that seeing bad parenting practice does not make me feel any better about myself.

In a sense, the couple was looking more for "perfect parents" to emulate than for a perfect place to raise their daughter. But it turns out that the only perfect parents are Verona's, who are long dead. Suppose Verona and Burt will be such parents. It still means that only dead parents or parents-to-be are perfect. Is the film trying to tell us that there is no such a thing as perfect parents? It's very touching when Burt and Verona were exchanging promises, but I, for one, have broken many parenting promises I made (for example I promise to be strict with my kid but I haven't been, or according to my husband, I've been anything but strict).

Everyone will find out what kind of parent he/she is when he/she actually becomes one. To summarize how I feel as a mother (only 10 month, but feels much longer): I've always felt I'm not a good enough mom since the beginning, but what balances it out is that strange confidence about my child: no matter how bad a mother I am, I believe my child will turn out to be fine, because she is just too good to be messed up by me.

Another ironic thing is that even the "bad" parents in the movie are actually doing what they think is the best for their children. When we look at other families, we can easily see what is "wrong" and believe we can do better, but, are we really better?